


Plush Rumps

by angryroe



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Drinking, Drunk John, Drunk flirting, Flirting, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Lafayette you prankster, M/M, Pick Up Lines, alex is done, cheesy af, implied mullette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 16:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryroe/pseuds/angryroe
Summary: John is drunk.John loves Alex.Lafayette makes the best of it.I suck at summaries.





	Plush Rumps

“Did you guys know that one in four men are gay?” Laurens voice warbles unsteadily. He leans towards his friend on the right, pint in hand and cheeks already flushed from the alcohol. “THAT means that one of us here, is GAY.”  
  
“Laurens, mon ami, we are all gay.”  
  
“I hope it’s Alex.”  
  
“John, Alex is-”  
  
“Shhh, he’ll hear you!”

  
John looked at Hercules panicked, and his friend sighed into his cup. Lafayette snickered, eyes gleaming mischievously. His hair was slowly coming undone from its ponytail, curly strands framing his flushed face. John was clearly much more affected, his every movement dramatized, but Lafayette was slowly joining him.

  
“Laurens is right, Hercules. Alex is merely a few feet away, and he must not know of our friend’s small crush.”

  
John nodded sombrely, ignoring the crazed look Herc shot both him and his friend.

  
“It’s a big crush, Laf. Huge."  
  
“We know, John.”  
  
“I really, really like him.”  
  
“We know, John.”  
  
“I want to suck his dick while he writes those huge essays of his.”  
  
“We- wait what?”

  
Hercules choked on his drink, violently coughing while Lafayette tried his best to not laugh at John’s solemn expression.  
John’s whole body swayed as he looked over to where his crush, Alexander Hamilton (gosh John loved how long and laborious that name was) was busy arguing with the bartender over their drinks, which have gotten suspiciously more expensive every time they came here.  
Lafayette followed his gaze and smirked, downing the rest of his drink.

  
“Go talk to him, John.”

  
John stared at his friend as if he had asked him to strip naked and parade the streets.

  
“No. I couldn’t. I can’t. I would never.” John hiccupped. “Should I?”  
  
“You like him, don’t you? How will you ever know if he returns your sentiments if you never test the waters? As the French always say; non est ce que vous avez deja en ce moment, mais OUI est ce que vous pourriez obtenir!”  
  
“What does that mean?”  
  
“No is what you already have right now, but yes is what you could get!”  
  
Hercules raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a Dutch saying?”

  
Lafayette waved him off, not sparing him a glance as he eagerly grinned at John.  
John was torn. He gave Alex a yearnful gaze, feeling his heart warm at the sight of the smaller, now visibly angry man. Alex was huffing and close to shouting, the bartender glaring at him. John placed one hand over his head, a true damsel in distress.  
  
“Look how wonderful he is. Just look Lafayette.”

  
John attempted to grab his friend’s face and turn it towards who he believed was truly the most spectacular human being in this bar at least if not in this whole world. Instead, he just sort of slapped Lafayette lightly, rubbing his hand across his cheek.

  
“Yes John, our petit lion is very handsome, especially all riled up like this, no?”  
  
“Yeah. His eyebrows scrunch up and it’s really hot.”  
  
“Oui, and look at his frame from this angle!”  
  
“I know, his ass is like wow!”  
  
“Guys, I really don’t want to hear this.”

  
John perked his head up on his hand, elbow dangerously close to the edge of the table as he gazed adoringly at Alexander. Alexander suddenly turned, giving his friends a ‘can you believe this guy?’ look as the bartender stalked away.

  
“Oh shit Laf he’s looking!”

  
John quickly straightened himself, keeping his posture and smiled as platonically as he could at the secret love of his life.  
Alex looked at him with a confused expression, looked at the other two men with a perked eyebrow and returned to his waiting at the bar.

  
“Fuck. He totally noticed. He knows, Lafayette he totally knows we were talking about his plush rump.”  
  
“Calm down, mon ami.”  
  
“He knows I want his disco stick.”  
  
“Perhaps not yet, you have hope still. Go to him, John.”  
  
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” John groaned, letting himself fall unceremoniously onto Hercules’ lap. He stared down at him frowning, but amusement glimmered in his eyes. “What do you think, Herc?”  
  
“John, you’re-”  
  
“Hercules doesn’t know what he’s saying, John. John. John come here.”

  
John let himself be pulled up and suddenly his face was being held in the hands of his French friend.

  
“Laurens, my friend. If you believe in love as much as I believe in you, you will stand and fight for who you want! Look at you. You’re smart, handsome, fiery! You are a total catch!”  
  
“Yeah. Yeah!” John stood suddenly, took a moment to let the world around him stop spinning, then proclaimed loudly, “I’m gonna do it”  
  
Lafayette cheered as his friend stumbled over to Alex, who smiled wearily as his boyfriend slumped next to him, an overly flirtatious expression on his face. Hercules huffed.  
  
“Are you gonna keep doing this every time he gets drunk?”

  
Lafayette smiled warmly and placed his head on Hercules’ shoulder, offering no response.

~*~ Extended Ending ~*~  
“John, hey honey you oka-”  
  
“Heeeeeeey, Alex. Listen.” John hiccupped. “This is hard to say, but, I am. Hard. Over your plush rump.”  
  
“Right. John, how much have you had to drink?”  
  
“Doesn’t matter. I think it’s time I finally told you. I’ve been keeping it inside me too long.”  
  
“John it’s only 10pm, we got here like an hour ago.”  
  
“Alex I know this is sudden, but I’m just a guy. Asking another guy. To love him.”  
  
“Oh god are you trying to ask me out again?”  
  
“Yes, what, no, what?”  
  
“I’m going to kill Lafayette.”  
  
“Alexander, if not me, who? If not now, when?”  
  
“Oh god.”  
  
“Alexander, what I’m trying to say is, I’m gay. For you, especially.”  
  
“I know John, we’re dating.”  
  
John shook his head, raising a finger to Alex’s lips and shooshing him vigorously.  
  
“That’s dumb. We can’t be dating. That would mean that I somehow found myself worthy of being graced with the existence of the Alexander Hamilton. That would mean that I have kissed your lips, touched your body with intimacies which I have only longed for in my dreams. I wish, my dear Alex, that it was in my power by actions rather than words, to convince you that I love you.”  
  
“John, you’re literally quoting the love letter I wrote you when I asked you out. Did you seriously memorise that?”  
  
“I seem to have lost my number-"  
  
“No.”  
  
“Can I have yours?”  
  
“We are going home.”


End file.
